Random

Looking back I see that I have been very remiss in keeping up with this blog, I think it is because I don't feel I have anything really interesting to say----no cute kid stories to tell anymore,just life going on.

There have been some high's this past year with my sons finally performing live with their progressive rock band of 2, but the biggest accomplishment for them was cutting their first CD. I am very proud of them, they wrote all the music, the lyrics, played all the instruments and sang the vocals... and recorded it and mixed it themselves. It was then sent out to have the final mix done on it and 500 copies were made.They managed to make a recording studio in our basement,somewhat shabby but it works for them. I am in constant awe of how much they have accomplished by themselves and how much they love working and playing together. They make an amazing team.

The saddest recent part is my little dog Harley is now gone. I had to put him down on Nov 1/09 after he basically went nuts on Halloween as the children came trick'r'treating.This wonderful little doggie vicously attacked me bitting my hand quite severly 3 times and leaving 2 deep gouges. Over the years Harley would sometimes yelp if you touched his ear,the vet checked him twice and found no problem. For about 1 1/2 weeks prior to this awful night he would yelp occassionally for no apparent reason.I was going to take him to the vet on the Monday to get him checked out.Instead, I took him on Sunday to have him put down as he was clearly no longer in his right mind. The wonderful vet said he was quite certain Harley had a brain tumor.I still have quite a nasty scar from two of the bites which reminds me of him a lot.He was an abused dog that we adopted, became partially paralyzed, regained everything except his bladder and bowels-but we kept him diapered and he was a happy dog with our family. I am glad that he had a good life with us after such a rough start, and I am so grateful to my vet Elaine Murphy who worked so hard with him (a lot of it for free which included her taking him to her home for a few days)to help him walk and run again. RIP little Harley and I hope you and Ricoh are having a great time togther.

Snowstorm in Calgary

Well, this is the second huge snow dump in 7 days for poor Calgary! UGH and double UGH!!! Lesson to self....never ever ever again buy a house in Calgary with a huge driveway no matter how nice the house is!!(Unless of course I have a big strong guy with a snowblower to clear it). In total my driveway can hold 9 cars so I do indeed believe it is quite large. It is a single lane going from the street up to the house and that can hold 3 compact cars and from there to the garage it expands to 2 large lanes wide and can hold 6 cars easily.We have had so much snow in the past week I am running out of room for it. Lots of people are starting to pile snow on the street in front of their homes. For me that would be far too much work to get it down to the street so I guess I will just keep piling it up the fence. If this keeps up I most likely will lose part of the double wide area of the driveway and go down to a single lane.I guess the good news is that we definetly will have a white Christmas in Calgary so the little kidlets will be happy. Mind you as I type this it is -27C with a windchill making if feel like -37C,and tomorrow we will go all the way up to -26C, windchill making it -29C. OOOOOHHHH, lucky us!More flurries by Wed so I think I will be getting my excercise this week.
Funny thing, a lady a couple of houses down from me got stuck in my next door neighbors driveway this morning. By the time I noticed her, she had been out there an hour-first digging her car out on the street and then attempting to drive on the road. She figured out she wasn't going anywhere so decided to try to turn around in the neighbors driveway where she got stuck big time.She was quite upset and frustrated with her car that she has only owned 3 months, it is a standard and she most obviously did not have a lot of experience with using the gears.She said she had used up almost 1/4 tank of gas.Not only that-her tires were darn near bald, not a good thing to have on a car in Calgary this time of the year.She was basically useless when I was attempting to get the car "rocking" no matter how much explaining I did and finally another neighbor came to help also. Eventually he asked if I could drive a standard and I can, so I took over. Weird thing is, she just stood on the road in the snow watching Tom pushing and rocking the car as we attempted to park in back in her original spot.I finally asked her to help but we got it done before she did.She was very grateful and sorry for causing a problem. No worry, back to my house I went to shovel more snow from my very long driveway(see 1st paragraph...gggrrrr)and she comes running up and asked if she could give me a hug for helping her out. She was on the verge of a total breakdown as she hugged me and said she has had a horrible past 2 months and I rightly assumed this was just putting her over the edge.So here I was judging this poor soul who has been through a nightmare recently.I found out this aft from a different neighbor that her mother died a couple of months ago.Another lesson to self-quit being so judgemental!!!

RICOH JOHNS...Dec 15,1992-Aug 29,2008

We got our wonderful terripoo as a 3 month old puppy-we were unbelievably his 3rd owners in that short time! He was called Sandy when we went to see him and Matthew, Marc and I instantly fell in love with him. As we were bringing him home in the car I said that Sandy was far too common a name for a dog like him with his color and somehow the name Ricoh popped out. We all agreed it was just the perfect name for this most amazing energetic bundle of joy.
Now what did I know about dogs??? I was actually a cat person so what was I to do with a dog who had a mind of his own????? We managed to get through the tough times with a dog training course and lots of advice from my good friends Gary and Coleen who knew an awful lot about dogs.
What a loyal dog this little guy was. I used to rough house with the boys and Ricoh was right in there barking like crazy at me if he thought I was hurting them at all. We used to play that I was about to spank one boy and there was NO WAY that Ricoh would let me do that! Boy-any burglers would have been in big trouble if they had hit the 'Johns' household with Ricoh around!All the years that I babysat children Ricoh was right there enjoying everyone and was a best friend to all.
I totally believe that Ricoh had a great life with our family and was very happy. He started slowing down at about 9-10 years old so we adopted another dog at that time to keep him company. What a trooper Ricoh was, he seemed to become a younger dog as he adapted to Harley being his constant companion.He may have sensed that Harley needed him as he had been a badly abused dog until coming to us at 1 1/2 years old. The two of them enjoyed a good relationship even as Ricoh developed a growth on his inner left rear leg that was diagnosed as a sort of fatty build up. The vet said that it was far too risky to operate on him as he would probably die from infection after surgery as the location was far too dificult to allow for proper drainage. Well, our precious Ricoh managed to hang in there for another 3 years with the growth increasing dramatically with time and moving his organs out of place.It never stopped him from enjoying his runs in the back off leash area though. The time came when we had to say goodbye to him and I cannot begin to explain how tough the day was. It was kind of ironic that this happened the day before Marc turned 20 years old-almost confirmation of the end of childhood for him.
We handled this as we have handled most of our issues-as a family. The trip to the vet was not a time I will forget anytime time soon and my sons stood with me and we all said goodbye to our most faithful and loyal companion. The boys made the decision that the only resting place for Ricoh would be our backyard and they found a wonderful spot for their childhood companion. I like to think that Ricoh is checking out the back field and very happy that he is sort of still at home and watching out for his family.
Actually, this memory has come about this evening as I was decorating our Christmas tree and I pulled out an ornament that I was given in Dec of 2002 when Ricoh was still our only dog. It is one of the "Willow Tree" angel ornaments with the angel(or girl)hugging a dog in her arms-well seeing this just floored me for awhile as it brought back a flood of memories and the knowledge that our buddy will not be with us this Christmas.
RIP little buddy, we miss you and love you.


Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Boys playing 1

I have attached a couple of videos of the boys in their playing/recording "studio" in our basement.As you can see, I tried to give you an idea of where it is located in the centre of the basement in an enclosed area. The boys have tried to soundproof it as best as possible using carpets suspended from the ceiling and mattress's along the walls as well as some sheets and some sort of egg carton type sound things. They have even made a recording booth in a closet which I forgot to show in these videos but will in future ones. Much to my surprise as I entered the room and turned the corner I saw Matthew(22) on the drums! Heh, I am only the mom-how would I know he can play drums too!!! Giving myself credit, they have only just set up this room in the past week, previous to this they were playing in a different basement and I seemed to only be there when Matthew was playing guitar and Marc the base guitar and dabbling on the drums. Marc (20)bought himself a drum set aprox 1 1/2 months ago and I cannot believe how good he is on them---self taught, as is Matthew.Their friend Mike is also in the first video, he was there doing some DJ things with a phonograph-too bad I hadn't got that on video as it was quite good. The boys have been really respectful with the sound loudness and the lateness of time playing. I tried to email these video's to their Uncle and was not able to, so that is why I now have them on my blog...not a bad addition I say.

My first movie

Well, I am very excited today as I completed my very first "movie" yesterday and the reception to it at work this morning was just thrilling. My friend's son Curtis in Calgary has made a summer movie each year depicting his fun time at the lake with his friends and always done so nicely to music that I wanted to learn how to make one also.I got information from Tymon in the USA because he has filmed several movies and I figured was the movie guru. I found out that I had the right program loaded already on my computer and off I went. HAH HAH.....if only it were that easy!!!! Curtis came over for abit last eve and gave pointers on how to transfer my videos from Quicktime to Windows and took a quick trek through MovieMaker instructions and I continued on. I put aprox 9-10 hours total into the short project over 2 evenings(ugh....went to bed at 12:30am last night and never fell asleep til after 1!---then I had to work today!)BUT...I HAD to complete my first movie!!! Heh,it was worth it. So, watch and I hope enjoy my first attempt.

The MESSAGE

It is definitely fall in Calgary now, lots of leaves in my backyard-in fact I was out raking them for the 2nd time yesterday and not cranky at all. I had worked all day as well as some overtime, so by the time I got home to Harley-my cute little bichon shitzu-I did not have a whole lot of daylight left but I knew from past experience that I needed to clean up those pesky leaves before old man winter drops his snowy flakes! I find it quite funny that I have no problem at all doing things without wearing the Ipod earphones that most everyone is sporting now-a-days; seems I don't have a problem with my aloneness and my thoughts whilst alone. This brings me to the message I am going to write about today.
As I was working away and totally enjoying the fall evening just before dusk set, my thoughts went back many years ago to a hard time in my life when I had left my husband. I walked out with 2 young sons who were 3 1/4 and 10 months of age. Not an easy thing to do but I knew it was the right decision for all of us. It was aprox 3-4 months after I left, and the boys and I were living in a "safe house", which consisted of about 10 apartments in a sort of huge house style apartment building. Hard to describe but I knew we were very safe there with lots of other women who were in the same circumstances and we were able to support each other. Lots of help and counselling were a part of this special place that I credit to this day.
To understand the "message" one would need to know some of my history which was very violent as a child. I grew up in the era where "children were seen and not heard" which is very hard to explain to the youth of today, but which my brothers and I lived with every day. Getting "the belt" was a regular occurrence for what we of course felt was any old offence, but a lot of our friends lived the same way so no one ever felt we were abused. In the laws of today we would of immediately been removed from the home for child abuse.

Living with my young sons in the woman's shelter was not an easy task. I was attempting to start a new life without my mate of aprox 14 years, and having never lived on my own let alone living on my own with 2 infants was a daunting task indeed. I certainly had a temper growing up the youngest of 3 with my 2 older brothers and was very used to fighting for everything, in fact I never learned that there actually was another way to do things--yelling, physical fighting and name calling is how things were handled as I grew up.

I was struggling with these 2 precious babes under these new circumstances and did not have the patience that I should of- what with trying to keep my youngest from keeping the whole building awake with his screaming, and with my oldest son misbehaving for most likely some minor issue. I should have had more patience but I didn't and I had a horrible day with the oldest one and I certainly believe I was rougher with him than I should have been-most likely on the verge of being abusive. I was most angry with him when I put him to bed and finally I was able to fall exhausted to sleep when I had the most vivid dream I have ever had in my life...I call it my "message"-from God? Who knows for sure, but that is what I firmly believe it to be. In my dream I was mad at my oldest son in his bedroom. It had 2 beds with an end table between them and I threw him hard and he flew across the room sliding on the floor-probably around 8-10 feet- to the end table which he hit his head on and then lay still-unconscious -but I thought dead. In my dream I ran to him as I thought I had killed him and held him and then I woke up. I can't now remember what I did next but I do know that this dream forever changed me and how I dealt with my anger with my children. It did not get easier raising them alone, but I knew I could not physically hurt my boys at all and still to this day I believe this was a message from God to me to save my children and myself from "myself". I believe that I was on a downward spiral at the time and did not know how to cope with all the tough changes happening and was doing what I knew how to do best which was not good enough at all. Funny, as I am not a hugely religious person at all but I do believe in God and have thanked Him many times. Every now and then as the years have passed I have thought of this dream and the huge change it made in my life and am so thankful that I acted immediately and changed my behaviour, and I am so grateful for having had the dream or as I have called it "the MESSAGE".

A Time for Reflection

Today we are celebrating Canadian Thanksgiving-it is actually tomorrow Oct 13 but we are doing the big turkey meal with family and friends today.
So many things have happened this past year it is hard to find enough words for everything.
Last year around this time I found out my youngest son was moving from my home in Calgary all away across the country to Ontario---and I was totally devastated! Words cannot describe how I felt as we have become quite close the past few years. I sucked it up (as I had no choice in the matter), counselled as best I could with the job situation back east and his father's cancer and sent him on his way in Jan /08 with his girlfriend. My eldest son Matthew was also quite stricken and I still choke up when I remember what he wrote on Facebook about Marc leaving.

They had barely been gone a month when their father(my ex-husband) passed away after a long battle with cancer. Marc did not want to see him dieing in the hospital, so did not come until I brought him home for the funeral. Was a hard time for my boys for sure but they were able to reconnect with some of their family that they had not seen for awile.

Tymon flew up from Seattle area with one of his boys Jett to attend his grandpa's funeral, as well as their 1/2 brother Stan Jr and 1/2 sister Lynn who actually live in Calgary, and Lyndon(nephew) but they never see. Funny history...my boys are actually Tymon's and Lyndon's Uncles-but they are a lot younger!

Marc and his girlfriend decided to move back to Calgary(yup-one happy mama!)
My boys did a road trip this summer and stayed with Tymon's family in the Seattle area.
My good friends split up after 16 years of marriage.
I broke my foot and spent the summer on crutches.
Our wonderful, faithful, loyal terripoo-Ricoh whom we have had since he was 3 months old had to be put down on Aug 29 at 15 3/4 years old...the day before Marc's 20th birthday. Matthew and Marc were with me during the tough time at the vet and they took charge and brought Ricoh home and he is now buried in a wonderful spot in our backyard.

Then our very own Tymon loses his 15 month old son Evan on Sept 23. We went to the funeral and cried alongside the rest of the family, but then we all got together in the evening for what I feel was the start of healing time for everyone. I got to see people whom I have known since they were little children and whom I still consider my family even though I have been divorced for 19 years and have not personally seen them for years or met their families(exception being Tymon and Jett, and of course Lyndon).I was blown away when I was welcomed into their homes and I felt they still consider me a Johns. At Evan's funeral it was the first time in the 4 years since I changed my name back to my maiden name that I wished it was still the same.
Bridget and Tymon's new baby girl was born days later on Mon Sept 29 and we all rejoiced.

I want my boys to reconnect with their direct family so I figured the only way this is going to happen is if I do something about it--that is why we are having the "big" dinner......(hey-the best layed plans tend to fall apart!) My oldest son is in Saskatchewan with his girlfriend...but I will be doing this again soon.

So, that is my reflection of the past year...some bad times and some good times all mixed in. We recently got to see Sir Elton John, and Neil Diamond in the famous Calgary Saddledome. I got to see Martina McBride and Johnny Reid(saw him twice!), and this upcoming week we are going to see David Copperfield.
So, I have so much to be thankful for, but most especially for my family.